she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
