its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Houston, we have a blender
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
