I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
