garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Your cock deserves a montage
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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