Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
