apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
