i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
and you fell through a lawn chair
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
