I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
