yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
