I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
