it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
