i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
