if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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