TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
