I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My breasts were aching with rage.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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