remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
