i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
