I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
