You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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