i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I think my moral compass just broke
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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