Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
