Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
