I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
