i jhust puked up my retainher.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Randomize
