another moral hangover. fuck.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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