He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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