Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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