Apparently you make a good broom.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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