I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
