woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
