I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
