Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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