Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
