Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
