I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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