Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
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