Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
