R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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