I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
