What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
