their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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