If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
