today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
