There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize