Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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