im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
so let's talk penis.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
