So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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