marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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