I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
