i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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