Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
