if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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