i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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