I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
