its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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