im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
