is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
