Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I FOUND THE LEGS
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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