Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You ate ashes out of my bong
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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